Understanding

by Sharni

September 2002, Firthness Challenge Entry

Rated PG

Author's Note:I 'm not sure whether it was kind of Melly to point me toward this challenge or not. The word limit returned me to those dim, dark, almost forgotten days of college when you often had to reign your thoughts in to 2000 words.

I think I'm in awe of Kerry, who so effectively set up the tension and context of the kiss with such an economy of words, I on the other hand, spent so much time on context that despite a ruthless culling and rewording, I almost had to cull the kiss itself (or a least consider putting it in the footnotes.)

So... I'm over... feel free to dock me a few marks 

The student café may have been bustling and noisy that night but sometimes it’s possible to feel alone in a crowd and, despite all the busyness, movement and laughter around about, the corner booth seemed to create an illusion of intimacy, at least for the young couple who now shared it.

Elizabeth normally loved activity, not only partaking in it, but also in observing that of others; it energised her… fed her inquiring and interested mind… but tonight her head was already too full to leave any room, or even inclination, to indulge in her pass time of people watching, hence her choice to sit with her back to the crowd.

She was surprised though, when rather that seating himself opposite, William had slipped in at her side – a circumstance not likely to settle her already agitated thoughts. It had taken almost two years for her to refine the carefully cultivated air of casual indifference toward William Darcy but the subtle and consistent pressure of his attention was making it increasingly difficult to maintain the façade.

William seemed to sense her uncertainty and sat back a little, wondering yet again why Elizabeth invariably seemed to have that wall up to him when she always appeared so at ease with others. It was quite obvious she wasn’t timid with the male of the species. He had watched her play, flirt, tease and laugh so many times… but never really with him - all he appeared to get from her was polite conversation. Well… that wasn’t exactly true, there were those delightful occasions when she’d let slip her politeness in order to challenge an action or opinion of his. He’d sometimes even catch himself openly courting a disagreement with Elizabeth, simply to gain her unguarded attention for a time. How far gone must he be when a difference of opinion with Elizabeth meant far more to him than any amount of the flattery or deference he commonly received from so many other women?

The truth was he’d been attracted to her from almost the beginning of their acquaintance.

He’d been rather resistant when both Jane and Charles expressed a wish for him to join them for a weekend at the Bennet family home, but under such a good-natured persistence as Charles subjected him to, he eventually relented. Though initially slightly taken aback by the informality and friendly bedlam of a much larger family than his own, he soon came to an appreciation of the welcoming and rambling country house. There was that of hospitality and of familiar affection which could not fail to touch a chord in the life of a nineteen year old, separated by distance from his own family for his first year at university.

He had not been in the Bennet household above an hour when Charles first solicited his opinion of Jane’s pretty younger sister, hopeful they might make up a foursome for the evening. A wry smile played on William's face as he now recalled agreeing she was attractive - but also following this admission with a somewhat condescending comment about her hardly being in his league, and an even more disdainful reply about not wishing to play backup for some school girl who couldn’t get a date on a Saturday night.

William’s recollection may now have struggled with the precise wording of that ill-conceived epithet, but unbeknownst to him Elizabeth could have quoted it word for word. Though Elizabeth had discretion enough to not let on she’d overheard, his throw-away comment had made an impression, and was still very much with her, even all this time after the event; not consciously perhaps, and not because she’d indulged it, but simply because it was one of those occasions where thoughtless words had managed to find a home. It would be a rare or possibly insensitive seventeen year old girl who would not have a vulnerability to such observation on herself… and Elizabeth, despite being generally confident, was by no means immune to the embarrassment or insecurity such an overhearing could occasion.

It might have given her a certain vengeful pleasure though, had she realised then how much power she would soon possess to shake his conceit, and had she known that on that very evening William would begin reassessing his presumption in regard to his premature judgement.

As it was however, Elizabeth remained completely unaware that she had unintentionally caught William's more positive attention and, given that she now filtered her reading of his behaviour through an acceptance of his ‘true’ opinion, it is perhaps understandable that she might misinterpret signals that would have been plain to her had the come from anyone else.

So while she chose to interpret William’s attentions to her as a civil façade, William himself kept finding more to like about Elizabeth, perceptively coming to believe that a night out in her company might not have been such a punishment after all. He’d certainly not planned to pay her any particular notice, but found himself unexpectedly attracted upon listening in on her playful banter, catching her laughter, and detecting the intelligence in her eyes.

It is not to be imagined that this attraction to Elizabeth left William desperate and pining to see her again, as this was by no means the case. As a young man of connections, cleverness, and undeniable good looks he possessed many opportunities to enjoy his resulting popularity, and he thought little of Jane’s younger sister until he next was persuaded to accept another invitation to the Bennet’s, two months later. There was certainly no reluctance to the idea he’d be seeing Elizabeth again; it even crossed his mind that she might prove a rather pleasant distraction for a few days. By the end of the weekend it would be correct to say that Elizabeth had indeed provided distraction, but not in the manner he’d anticipated. Her response to his attentions, or rather lack thereof, had been the cause of no little discomposure for a young man so used to easy success.

Neither was his composure helped on Saturday night when Elizabeth appeared downstairs ready for an evening out. He realised, as he ran his eye over her undeniably attractive form, just how little justice her jeans and T-shirts had done to her figure. William even felt a definite ill-will toward her date as Elizabeth met him with a smile upon his arrival, completely unaware that Elizabeth had only accepted this poor lad upon learning that William would be visiting that weekend, and not knowing that their ‘relationship’ would last no further than Sunday night.

Truth be told, her date that evening was not the only victim of short lived hopes in regard to Elizabeth. From this time on William became an ‘occasional regular’ at the Bennet household - his attraction and appreciation of Elizabeth ever increasing. Each time he visited it was not without some hope he might gain some ground with her… but every time she seemed to have a different fellow waiting in the wings to frustrate his efforts.

Charles, suspecting his friend's interest, thought it a perverse ill-fortune that despite her often being free otherwise, Elizabeth usually had dates on the weekends William visited, but her father had quickly discerned the definite pattern to Elizabeth’s romantic social life, and it amused him no end. He liked William very much indeed, but couldn’t help thinking Elizabeth’s resistance would prove a positive thing in the long run. A person like William Darcy would never fully appreciate that which came to him too easily. Still, even Mr Bennet found himself astonished at Elizabeth’s strength of purpose in side-stepping William, particularly as he could perceive that in fact she was certainly attracted to him – he never would have guessed her perseverance could last close to two years.

Copyright held by Sharni - 2002