Tá Tú Mo Anam Chara (You are My Soul Mate) (R-rated eventually)

Blurb
Libby Bennet finds she is pregnant with Will Darcy's baby. Both
are happy, however their families seem less than happy. It takes
place in Dublin and Co Cork in Republic of Ireland. I warn you
Libby's mum (Dymphna) is a nasty character.

Glossary
Saoirse – pronounced SEER-sha, which means freedom
Mamó – Gaelic for grandma
Dadaí – Gaelic for Dad
Mamaí – Gaelic for Mum
Anam - Shortened version of anam chara Gaelic for soul mate
Gormless - adj. Lacking intelligence and vitality, stupid looking
O'Connell Street - Central shopping street in Dublin
Swords - Suburban area, on the North side of the River Liffey

What the fuck am I going to do with my life now? I have been
feeling unwell since Christmas and last night I decided that I
would do a pregnancy test – but it would be negative – then I
can put it down to food poisoning, so just before Charles and
Jane's
party I did the test. The last bloody thing I was expecting was
for the test to come back positive. I thought it was wrong so I
did another and it was still positive. I decided to put it out
of my head and try and enjoy the party and I would think about
THIS tomorrow.

Jane wondered what was wrong with me: I wasn't drinking and I
certainly wasn't smoking and apparently I was looking very pale.
It was all I could do to avoid mother for most of the evening;
the last thing I needed was her going on about how I should have
gone out with Bill Collins and not let Mairéad Lucas get her
claws into him. Ugh, the very thought of even letting Collins
hold my hand, let alone touch me in any other way makes me want
to throw up even more than I do at the present moment. Dadaí was
sitting in the corner talking to Charles and Uncle Eddie,
avoiding my mother at all costs. Jane kept trying to get me to
talk but I'm not yet ready to face this let alone talk about it
with anyone, so all in all I was having a pretty terrible
evening.

Just when I thought the evening couldn't get any worse, in walked
Will Darcy. I wanted to scream and run away but that would look
suspicious. I didn't want to talk to him, yet I couldn't
take my eyes off him … they should definitely make looking that
good
a criminal offence. Let me paint a picture, 6ft1 with a body that
was just perfect, not overly muscular but a definite six pack -
which obviously wasn't visible under his wool jumper (I'll
explain how I know that later). He was in perfect proportion,
his legs long but not gangly. His face was sculptured and
masculine and a pair of brown eyes that you could fall into and
drown in. All in all, a perfect package. He had his "don't
come near me, I bite" face on as he walked in, that is until he
saw
Charles in the corner and his face broke out in a grin which
showed off his gorgeous dimples. God what that man can, and has
done, to me. ***sigh***

I got through the whole party without talking to him, and as soon
as it struck midnight, I slunk off to bed and hoped that things
would look less bleak and scary in the morning. I lay in the
darkness, unable to sleep, and thought about who I was, what I
had done and what I was going to do. This is what I came up
with. Elizabeth Bennet, 24 years old, just finished a 3 year
English degree last September (I took a couple of years out after
college to help my aunt with her children) and I was hoping to go
and do my Postgraduate Teaching Diploma in September, but that
isn't going to happen now. I am in love with Will Darcy and last
September, following my graduation party, we acted on our mutual
desire for each other and had the most mind blowing, life
changing (wasn't that right!) sex I have ever had in my life. I
believed that we were going to stay together, however, that was
destroyed in October when my baby sister attempted to shoot his
sister on the advice (!) of her lover George Wickham. George had
attempted to abduct Will's sister 18 months before. Following
that, he had managed to trick my dim-witted sister Saoirse into
believing that Georgiana was out to put George into prison for
the attack and that the only way for them to be together was to
get her out of the picture. Will didn't press charges following
Georgiana's ordeal with Wickham. However, when Wickham arrived
in Cobh, Saoirse was instantly smitten, which was apparent to
everyone especially George. He knew that he could get her to do
anything, and this was the ideal opportunity to make the Darcys'
life unbearable. Saoirse was told that Georgiana was still
interested, therefore making Saoirse see her as a threat, Wickham
told her that the only way to stop Georgiana was to eliminate her
totally. Following my sister's stupidity, which resulted in her
currently spending her present days being entertained at a
woman's prison outside Dublin in spite of her being a terrible
shot and missing Georgiana while Wickham is on the run, presumed
cowardly. After that I distanced myself from Will as I didn't
see any reason why he would want to associate with anybody
connected to Saoirse. So thanks to Saoirse my life was fucked up
and, as a result, my child will probably grow up without a
father.

I never meant to get pregnant, that was never going to part of
the grand scheme of things. Don't get me wrong, I always said I
wanted children, however there was a set order to this: find a
nice man, marry him, THEN have his children. But as my mamó
always said, "these things are sent to try us". I will have
this baby, there is no other choice, but I couldn't consider
abortion
or adoption. Hold on, I've heard stories of women having phantom
pregnancies, where they think they're pregnant, but they
aren't. Maybe I'm one of them, I think I might go and go
another
pregnancy test just in case, after all I bought two packs, I hate
to see things go to waste. Went to the bathroom, did the tests
(both of them) and they both showed positive. It was worth
checking. Definitely pregnant then, I'll go to the doctor when
they reopen after New Year's. Well it looks like it's just
me and you kid, I'm sure we'll be fine (!) and you'll be
cute and
gorgeous and everyone will love you, even your Dadaí will even if
he doesn't love me. Wow have to stop doing that whole talking
the bump (which isn't even a bump yet) like it's a real
person.
Well, it is a real person, but not an actual person that you can
see.

One thing was certain, I will have to speak to Will and let him
know that he is going to be a father. If he wants to be involved
then I'll let him, and if he wants no more to do with me (the
more likely option), then fine, I can do this myself. Another
certainty was that I was going to have and keep this baby no
matter what Mamaí says. It is making me ill just thinking about
what she will say, especially about the father. What Dadaí will
say is another matter. He will be disappointed but he will
support whatever decision I make, the only decision that he may
struggle with is my choice of sleeping with Will Darcy If I am
going to face Will head on tomorrow, I decided that I at least
needed to attempt some sleep and think about the rest of this
mess tomorrow.

I woke up at 10 am; I felt that was respectable for New Years Day
and especially for a lady in my condition!!! I showered and
dressed, considered what I could wear, as I was aware that I have
grown at least one cup size and am waiting for the rest to
follow. I decided on a loose t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I
went downstairs and walked into the dining room to find Jane and
Charles having breakfast with Will Darcy. Will I ever be able to
escape this infernal man? Of course not, I thought as I looked
down at myself.

Jane noticed me and offered me some coffee and asked me how I
slept. I lied and told her not too bad. I did notice that
Charles was looking slightly green around the gills and it was
clear that he had drunk well rather than wisely, well lucky old
him! I looked across the table and tried not to be obvious about
looking at Will. I noticed that he was looking tired but not
hungover, that would make the conversation we needed to have
later a little easier. "Good morning, Liz?" his voice pulled
me out of my reverie and I was forced to look up rather bashfully
and smiled at him. He smiled back at me showing me his gorgeous
dimples and perfect teeth (thank God I was sitting down because
my legs were feeling weak). I wished him the same back and asked
him if he had had a pleasant evening. This small talk made the
later conversation a little easier. Will noticed that I had been
very quiet last night, and that I had been very distant. I
passed it off as tiredness and a desire to avoid Bill Collins and
my mother.

We finished breakfast and I helped Jane clear away the breakfast
plates and asked if we could have a talk alone as soon as
possible. Jane was clearly worried, and so she should, and I
told her that I would fill her in on everything that had happened
with me as soon as we were alone. We returned to the men, who
were now in the living room watching some rubbish on TV, and we
told them that we were going to go for a walk and have, as
Charles put it very quietly, "a girly gossip". We left the
house, walked for about 15 minutes talking about last night and
other paraphernalia, until we found a bench and sat down.
"Libby" Jane started "you haven't been yourself since
you graduated, what happened? What went wrong? Please tell me
honey." I looked at Jane and I couldn't hold it back any
longer. It was as if someone had opened the floodgates and once it
had started there would be no stopping it.

"Oh Jane, what am I going to do, she has ruined everything and
has destroyed my life and another life, who has no say about what
happens to them." Jane looked confused and as if she was going
to say something but I carried on before she could say anything.
"And why did Will have to turn up again and make my life even
more complicated? Let me start from when I graduated." Jane
nodded at me and I then recounted the whole sorry tale, including
who Saoirse had attempted to shoot that day, but leaving out the
fact that Will had managed to get me pregnant. I finished and
looked at Jane, as if to say "finished now, what do you
think?"
Jane smiled at me and hugged and kissed me. "But Libby, it will
be fine. Will has done nothing but talk about you since you last
saw him, he does love you and I really don't think that Saoirse
will have any effect on your relationship. She and Wickham will
only have an effect if you let them and I will kick you both very
hard if you let that fucking happen." I looked up in shock at
Jane, she never swore. I get shocked on the extremely rare
occasions that she says anything stronger than "darn".
"Just talk to him. He will welcome you back with open arms,
there
will be no harm done and you can finally sort yourselves out."
At
this, I started to cry and Jane looked scared. "Lib, all will be
fine; you two can and will live happily ever after."

"No, Jane you don't understand. Our relationship can never
be repaired due to one rather large fact that I have left out. When
I met up with him in September, we slept together, as we did not
expect to be apart again, and during that one night … Will got me
pregnant!!" At this point, I was choking back the tears, Jane
looked dumbstruck. She said nothing but just put her arms round
me and told me that everything would be okay and that if Will
didn't support me, which she was sure he would, she and Charles
will be with me every step of the way. "Why would he want to
know me? I will be seen as no better than Saoirse, a woman out
for everything she can get. I am going to be on my own and
bringing up a baby, his baby." What Jane did next shocked me;
she shouted at me, "Elizabeth Gráinne Bennet, stop being so
self-indulgent, do you honestly think Will would sleep with just
anyone? He loves you and your relationship took the course that
it did because you do love each other. Now we are going to go
back to the house, I am going to take Charles to the supermarket
and you and Will will talk and sort this out; at the least he
does have a right to know you are carrying his child." I felt
suitably admonished and smiled at Jane through the tears. "As
always sister dearest, you're right. He does have the right to
know and if he does want to be involved with this baby, he
doesn't have to be involved with me. Obviously, I would really
love it if I was part of the deal but it isn't compulsory. He
probably won't want anything to do with me, but I have to work
this out." I stood up, took Jane's arm and then walked back
to the house. "Jane, when did my life get so messed up?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the day you got your brains fucked
out by the Darling Darcy?" Jane said with a twinkle in her eye,
and I
was totally speechless. To think I thought her the good girl?
How wrong was I?

We got back to the house and Jane found Will alone in the living
room, apparently Charles was upstairs having a shower. Jane went
upstairs to find him and I found myself in the living room on my
own with Will. I looked over at him and decided it was time to
take the bull by the horns. So I walked over, closed the door,
turned off the television and sat on the sofa across from where
he was sitting. This definitely got his attention. "Will, we
need to talk." I felt as if my heart was in my mouth and I
thought I was going to throw up (at least I can blame that on
morning sickness, not fear). He stood up and sat beside me on
the settee. I felt even worse. "Yes we do. We have wasted so
much time since September; I have missed you so much. When I
didn't hear from you after that weekend, I thought you regretted
what had happened between us". I must have looked worried as he
continued "I don't regret what happened; it was the best
weekend of my life and to think that we have thrown all that away has
nearly sent me mad. Elizabeth I can't live without … please
tell me that you don't regret what happened and that you feel the
same way that I do." He stopped and looked at me with such love
in
his eyes; this would change when I told him what I had to say.

"Will" I began "I don't regret for one second what
happened
between us. There are two things I regret: that I left you and
that Saoirse ever tried to shoot your sister. The reason I
didn't get in touch with you after I left was the whole Saoirse
thing. I didn't think that you would want anything to do with the
family of the girl that tried to kill your sister. I now realise
that this is wrong, and I thank you for not holding my sister
against me. However, there might be one thing that might make
you reconsider your decision. I have been feeling unwell for a
while … and yesterday I decided … out of curiosity did a
pregnancy test and well … it was positive." At this I looked
at Will. He didn't have any emotion in his face. Well no
emotion
is better than him hating me. He looked like he was going to
speak but I stopped him by placing my finger on his lips. I
subconsciously kept it there and continued. "I want you to have
the option of being part of this baby's life. However, if you
decide that you don't, I won't think badly of you. You can
also be a part of this baby's life without having to have a
relationship with me. It's totally up to you." I looked at
him, "I've stopped now, your turn."

He looked into my eyes and all I saw was total love. I still had
my finger on his lips; it was as if it was stuck there. He looked
at me again and the expression had changed to something totally
different, something I had only seen once before, the time before
he kissed me for the first time back in September. I felt myself
hold my breath and he just kissed my finger, took hold of my
wrist, removed my hand and placed it on his cheek. He placed his
hand on my cheek and then moved in close and kissed me. Not just
a peck, but a kiss that felt like he was probing my soul. I felt
his tongue flick against my lips and I instantly opened my mouth
to allow him entry to mine, being more eager to allow him to
probe my soul and me probe his. We carried on like this for
sometime until I heard the door open. We pulled apart and Will
wrapped his arm round me. Looking up we saw that Charles and
Jane were standing in the doorway, Jane with a look of
expectation and Charles a look of confusion. It was Will who
spoke first.

"Charles, I want you and Jane to be the first to know. Although
I think Jane might already know, but Elizabeth is going to have
our baby and I love her with all my heart and am going to be with
her EVERY step of the way if she will have me." Jane had the
biggest smile on her face and Charles was just looking bemused
but I could see in his eyes that he was happy for us and I hoped
that Jane had or was, going to explain what had gone on between
me and Will. Jane was the first to speak. "See I told you
everything would be okay. I explained everything to Charles. I
can't wait for the baby to come along. I'm going to be an
auntie!" She ran over and hugged Will. I could see he was very
unsure but he just smiled and hugged Jane back. He walked over
to Charles and they hugged and were talking. I couldn't hear
what they were saying as Charles was still very quiet, and Jane
was so excited, talking about how much fun the next few months
were going to be. I glanced over at Will and he met my eyes and
looked at me with so much love that I felt weak at the knees
(what is it with that man? I can find the next 40 years finding
out.)

"Oh bugger, we are going to have to talk to my Mamaí and
Dadaí about this, Will. The question is how best to deal with
this.
Oh God, Dadaí is going to be so upset and Mamaí, well Mamaí
is going to be Mamaí. You remember how she reacted to
Charles's
situation in life; well can you imagine how embarrassing she's
going to be about you?" I could feel myself getting upset and,
seeing that, Will walked over to me and wrapped his arms round me
placing delicate butterfly kisses throughout my hair. "We will
deal with this and this" and he placed his hand on my stomach
"together and they will understand us and if they don't then
you have me and I also promise you that I can cope with your mother
because I love you and therefore, I love your family. I would
love it for you to come back to Killiney with me when I leave in
a week, so I think we need to tell your parents before then." He
looked at me and I smiled and nodded. He kissed me. "There that
was an easy decision; the only other part of the plan to finalise
is when we tell them". Jane answered this for us, "Lib, they
are coming for dinner tonight at 7.30. I didn't realise all of
this
was going to happen so I decided to invite them over".
"That's okay", I reassured her "I'll get Dadaí
to one side and
we can talk to him together and then we can all tackle Mamaí. Are
the rest of the girls coming along?"
"Yeah Clíona and Ailish are coming. They'll be fine with
it; they'll
just be excited to have a niece."
"Jane it might well be a nephew, or have you developed ultrasound
sight?" I laughed. Jane laughed back, "Well, are you going
to alternate between the both, as you can't call it "it"
for
the next 6 months?" "We might, you never know we might give
"the baby" a nickname". Anyway, why are you always so
optimistic?
What would I do without you?"

"Well you'd probably be with Bill Collins … and not
pregnant.
After all you meeting Will is all my fault," she smiled
sheepishly.
"Yeah that's right. So ultimately all this is your
fault." I
laughed as I lobbed a cushion at her. I saw Jane lift a cushion
"You can't hit me back, I'm pregnant". I stuck my
tongue out at
her.

Charles came over to where the three of us were sitting. "Jane we
really need to go to the supermarket to get food for tonight and
stuff. You two are more than welcome to come with us if you want
and then we can go for some lunch. You never know Lib, you could
get him to buy you weird food combinations and get a heads up on
the cravings." He winked at Will, who just scowled back.
"That sounds like a plan. Although the only thing I require at
the
moment is chocolate and lots of it. I have to have a stash,
which I finance. I don't want you to think I want you to spend
your money on me."

Will just grabbed my shoulders and said, "I want to spend my
money, which will eventually be our money, on you and the baby."
He whispered in my ear "I don't mind buying you chocolate; so
long as you buy enough that I can eat some." I blushed, because I
knew exactly how he wanted to eat the chocolate, and it
definitely wasn't whilst watching a romantic movie. "Okay you
have yourself a deal". I kissed him, and pulled him off the sofa
as we decided that if we didn't move now we wouldn't be
eating anything at all tonight.

We all headed off to the supermarket. While Jane wandered round
the aisles trying to decide what we were going to eat, Will and I
walked round the supermarket stopping every few feet because Will
would ask me if I wanted different foodstuffs. I stopped in an
aisle and Will had walked on about 4 feet before he realised I
wasn't with him. He walked back to me and I asked him to stop
doing what he was doing. It was obvious that he was confused and
a little bit hurt so I took him by the hand and told him that
while I really appreciated him trying to feed me up (!), but that
I would point out what I wanted, and then he could buy me the
food. He smiled and nodded. I kissed him and told him to go and
get a basket and that I would meet him at the bread. He ran off
like a child and I shook my head and laughed as I headed to the
aisle. When Will and I met up, I loaded the basket with un-
sliced white bread, a HUGE tub of Nutella©, and lots and lots of
chocolate (dark, white, milk, minty and orange flavour).

I came to the realisation whilst walking through the shop that
Will was only trying to show me that he loved me and that he was
happy about the baby. I still felt really uncomfortable about
spending his money but I had to let him do this. It is something
else that we needed to discuss along with how we deal with the
sleeping arrangements, by that I mean sex. I know that I want to
fall asleep in his arms every night; however, I don't feel ready
to sleep with Will again yet as I don't feel particularly
attractive at present. I know, rather I hope, Will will
understand but it still needs to be discussed. Will noticed that
I was lost in thought. "Are you okay, anam ?" I smiled at
his use of a pet name for me. "Yeah I'm fine, just
thinking". We
went to the checkout as Jane and Charles were there already. When
I was unloading the shopping, I noticed that Will had put more
chocolate in. I looked up and smiled at him and he smiled right
back, the smile that a child had when they were waiting for
Christmas. God I love that man so much.

We met Jane and Charles, who had bought enough food to feed an
army, however, I knew that between us it wouldn't last very long.

Jane also wanted tonight to be as perfect as possible for me as
it was going to be a long and difficult night, especially as I do
not intend to marry Will straightaway. The boys took the food to
the car and we said we would meet them at Cronin's Restaurant,
which wasn't far from the supermarket. We ordered lunch and I
couldn't face anything more substantial than soup and bread
(morning sickness, my arse!). Will looked at me as if to say
"You have to eat something". I took his hand and squeezed it
and told him I was okay and that I would try and eat something more
filling tonight.

Over lunch we discussed what Will and I were going to do now. I
explained that I was planning to move back to Dublin with Will
when he leaves next week. I could see that Jane was a little
disappointed but I told her it was only 4 hours away. When Will
told Jane and Charles that they were welcome to come and stay any
weekend, I thought my heart might burst. I leant over to Will and
kissed him on his cheek and whispered "thank you" in his ear.
He
kissed me and I didn't feel self-conscious at all, it just felt
perfect. Our meals arrived and whilst we were eating we discussed
how Charles' job was going. He said it was okay, but I
wasn't
convinced. I didn't say anything, but decided to speak to
Jane about this before I left. Over coffee Charles asked the
question we were all thinking. "So Will, when are you going to
make an honest woman of my sister-in-law?"

I was speechless and Jane smacked Charles really hard. It was
Will that answered the question. "Leave him alone Jane, its
okay. I do intend to marry Elizabeth eventually, if she'll have
me. However, I want to wait until we are more comfortable with
being a couple and prospective parents." He looked at me "I
know we haven't discussed this, but does that sound alright to
you?"
I was almost crying with joy. "That sounds absolutely perfect. I
love you so much Will. I am so grateful to you for dealing with
this so well." I kissed him deeply and he more than
reciprocated. We totally forgot that we were in a restaurant
until Jane and Charles coughed. I know I should have been really
embarrassed, but I really didn't care. At least I could tell my
parents, especially Dadaí, that we are going to get married, but
not straight away. The last thing I want is to walk down the
aisle looking like the marquee.

We left the restaurant and headed home. I wanted to go and have
a lie down as I was really tired and nervous about tonight. Will
asked if he could come as well because he wanted to talk. We
went up to Will's room, went in and I took my shoes off and lay
down on the bed. Meanwhile, Will walked round to the other side
of the bed and sat down. I knew in my heart what he wanted to
talk about and on one hand I was glad he was bringing up the
subject, however, I was worried he wouldn't feel the same. He
took a hold of my hand and started to rub it. "Libby, I would
really like it if you would move into the room with me." I
obviously looked worried, "I don't expect anything from you.
I just want you with me. I want to wake up with you every morning.
I do want to take our relationship further; however, I think we
should wait until we are more secure as a couple." I actually
sighed. I sat up and moved over on the bed so that I was sitting
beside Will. I wrapped my arms round him, "Thank you. I was so
worried about talking to you about this. I feel the same way you
do. I know that we have already taken our relationship further,
however, I want to wait before we make love again. I'm not
saying that I don't want any contact, after all I'm only
human, but I don't want to go there again just yet. We can
decide
boundaries as we go. Is that okay?"

Will answered by wrapping his arms round me and he kissed me
passionately yet gently. I kissed him back and became aware of
his hand beginning to explore my back. My hands were also
roaming, however, I couldn't get to what I wanted – after all
he was using it to sit on the bed. I pulled back and asked Will if
he wanted to lie down for a while. I could see an evil glint in
his eyes as I lay down and pulled him with me as I fell. Our
mouths were on each other as quickly as possible and with Will on
his side I could easily access his gorgeous tight arse. As I did
this, I could feel his sigh of desire race through me. I felt
Will's hands move under and up my t-shirt and I shivered as his
hands roamed over my stomach and work his way to my newly
expanding breasts. As he massaged one of my breasts through my
bra, I moaned as a wave of desire coursed through my body. Will
stopped what he was doing and asked if this was okay (Because I
was so obviously NOT enjoying what he was doing, sometimes I
wonder about men!). I answered him by kissing his ear and
working my way down to his Adam's apple and gently sucked on it
and I could tell that Will was definitely enjoying this.
Meanwhile, Will was still working on my breasts, now rolling my
nipple between his finger and thumb. As much as I was enjoying
this, I knew we had to stop before we couldn't stop at all.

I pulled away and sat up; Will knew that this was the signal to
stop. I reassured him that it was okay, but I don't want to go
too far, too soon. Will agreed and then I told him to go away so
that I could have a sleep before tonight. Will tried to look
offended; however he failed miserably and just looked gormless .
He gave me a quick, chaste kiss and told me he would be with
Charles watching football and to come find him when I awoke. I
stripped down to my underwear, removed my bra and as I pulled the
covers back, I found a t-shirt and pulled it on. I climbed under
the covers feeling warm, secure and loved. With those thoughts
in mind, I quickly fell asleep.

The next thing I remember is being woken up gently by Jane. I
sleepily opened my eyes. "Libby, honey, I thought I better wake
you, it's half past 6 and they're due here at 8." I sat
up with a start. "Oh Jane, I really wanted to help with cooking
dinner, I'm really sorry. I feel so useless at the moment."
Jane
smiled and shook her head. "You needed that sleep. I'm
guessing
that you didn't have the best night's sleep last night and
you'll need all your strength to tell Mamaí.". "And
Dadaí, why did
you just say mamaí?" Now I was worried. "Have you spoken
to her
today?"
She sighed. "Yeah, Mamaí rang to see what wine to bring and
she asked if `that hateful man' was going to be at
dinner."
I felt like screaming. "By that, I take it she meant
William." I
could tell by Jane's face that she did and I felt sick to the
stomach.
"Oh G*d Jane, she is going to take this REALLY badly. She
obviously believes Saoirse's character assassination of
Will."
"Don't worry Lib, Dadaí doesn't believe what Saoirse
said about
Will, in fact after you ran away to bed last night," she had a
smirk on her face and I really wanted to hit her, "he and Will
were getting along famously. I think that Darcy charm of his
worked on Dadaí."
"Okay, that's a good sign, now I have to shower and change.
Come and see what I can actually fit into."

I got out of bed, pulled on my jeans and we went to my old room
and looked through my clothes. Jane suggested a shirt with my
black A-line skirt. I shook my head. "The skirt still fits,
however, I don't stand a cat in hells chance of getting that
shirt to button. I'd have to have the top 3 buttons undone.
I'm sure Will would really appreciate the view, however, not the
best
look for telling your parents you are pregnant by a man who
everyone thought I hated." Jane didn't know whether to laugh
or not, but when she saw me start to smile, she just laughed and
carried on trying to find a top, whilst I sat on the bed. "Ah
ha, how about this?" and she pulled out my deep red ¾ sleeve
cashmere sweater. "Perfect." I jumped off the bed, got clean
underwear and grabbed my toiletries and make up bag. "Grab my
black pumps would you? Could you take my clothes through to
Will's room and I can shower in there."
"I take it we will not be sleeping alone tonight? Have you
talked about all that?" "Yes Jane, yes to both
questions." Jane
and I have always been close, so I knew exactly what she meant
even though she didn't say it. "We are taking it slowly;
I'm not just going to jump into bed with him … again! After
all,
look what happened the last time I did that."

Jane laughed. "That's the spirit. Come on, let's
go." We left
the room and walked down the hall to Will's room. I opened the
door to find Will sitting on the bed, all showered and ready for
dinner. "There you are. I wondered where you were when you
weren't asleep. Did you have a nice nap?" "Yes, thank
you.
Jane and I were seeing what clothes I can actually fit into."
Jane left the clothes on the chair by the door and quietly left.
Will walked across the room to me, placed his hands on my hips
and kissed me long and hard. "Hi" he said grinning. "Hi
yourself.
Now let go of me so I can shower."
"If I must. Just a pity, I'm all ready for dinner. We could
have
saved water and showered together."
"Yeah the only problem is we probably wouldn't have made it
to dinner." I replied.
"Oh yeah."
"But you can come and talk to me whilst I'm showering."
"Your wish is my command. By the way Libby, you don't look
pregnant yet, why can't you get into some of your clothes?"
"Because, my love, my d*mn breasts have begun to resemble udders
is why or haven't you noticed?" Will threw me a cocked
eyebrow
smile (HEAVEN!!!!) while I stuck my tongue out at him and
continued. "You do realise that I will require an entire new
wardrobe, and in that respect, I have NO qualms about spending
your money!" I climbed into the shower and turned it on as I
finished the sentence. "No problems. Just don't drag me
shopping with you. I'll give you the money and you can go and
buy as
much as you need. How about we invite Charles and Jane across the
weekend before Valentines and you, Jane and Georgiana can empty
O'Connell Street of clothes?"

"Cool. Oh by the way, I'm going to have to go and see the
doctor tomorrow. Will you come with me? You don't have to."
I
didn't want Will to feel he is being forced into
anything. "Elizabeth, I am going to be with EVERY time you go to
the
doctor's, the midwife, the classes and everything,
understand?"
"Yes, I do." I turned off the shower. "Pass me a towel
would
you." As I stepped out of the shower, I wrapped a towel round me
and found another for my hair and set about cleansing and cleaning my
teeth.

We left the bathroom and while I was getting dressed, we talked
about how much stuff I have in Cork, and I assured him that it
will all fit in his Range Rover as I only had clothes and
necessities as all my big stuff is still at Charlotte's flat in
Swords . Charlotte was my flatmate when I was at Trinity and now
one of my best friends. I heard a car pull up and knew who it
was. "Will, that's them. Go down and rescue Charles and say
hi to Dadaí. Just to warn you, Mamaí will start as she
believes
everything Saoirse told her about you and Georgiana, and we all
know where she got that information from. I'll be down once I
have done my hair and make up. Now go" I grabbed his arse as he
walked past me. "Oi, no fair." He kissed me and walked out
of the room. Now I felt really sick. I dried my hair, applied a
little make up and wished I could have a fag and a vodka to calm
me down. But seeing that wasn't an option, I slipped my pumps on,
walked out the room and down the stairs towards that racket that
my mother was making already. "God, give me patience".



Glossary

Korky's – A shoe shop chain in Ireland. Most famous not for
their shoes but for employing a pop star before they were
famous
Gaviscon – A remedy for heartburn, tastes vile but works
Kennedy's Bakers – a small chain of bakerys in Ireland,
which has now sadly shut due to supermarkets
Club – Fizzy drink much like Fanta but nicer (very Irish
again)
Sarky – slang phrase for sarcastic

We left the maternity section after dragging Will away from
the cots and prams. He was acting like a child in a
toyshop. He was wandering round, eyes wide open, looking
at 3 wheeled prams, and prams that come with a car seat
which that turns into a baby rocker. (I was waiting for him
to find a pram that changed the baby for you!). He then
moved on to looking at cots, Moses baskets and those sling
things that make you feel like a gorilla carrying her young
from her breasts. When I saw him heading towards breast
pumps, I stopped him and told him enough was enough, and it
was time to leave. That is so funny. He said that he was
only planning ahead, but I explained to him that it was
too early to be buying them, as it was bad luck. He looked
very confused, so I gave him a hug and said that I
appreciated his concern.

We headed to the café to get something to eat as I was
starting to feel light-headed from lack of food or drink.
Whilst Charles and Will went to get a table and drop the
shopping bags down, Jane and I headed to get some tea and
coffees. Whilst we were in the queue I decided to broach
the subject of Charles and his job. "Jane, is Charles
okay? Is he okay everything alright at work?" She looked
back at me and smiled weakly. "I don't know. He says he's
alright, but I think that living this close to Mamaí is
wearing him down. I completely understand the way he is
feeling, and it is going to be harder once you go back with
Will." Jane was nearly on the verge of tears as she was
telling me this. I was struggling not to laugh as I knew
exactly how she was feeling. I placed my hand on her
shoulder and leant in to whisper to her. "It's okay. Just
tell her to back off. After last night, she probably won't
talk to you for a while anyway. Remember it isn't that far
away to come and see us, which you can do anytime you want.
Just remember that it's okay, you aren't losing me."

Jane smiled through watery tears. "Thanks Libby. I have
just got so used to having you around again."
I laughed "Yeah I'm like that., I'm like a disease, once
you've caught me, it takes a long time to get rid of me.
Right let's get some drinks as I am ready to eat the lamb
of God." We got to the drinks counter: ordered a tea and
coffee for Charles and Will, Jane had orange juice and I
had a huge glass of Cidona. When got back to the table,
the boys were busily looking at the menu, as if they had
never seen food before. I looked over Will's shoulder to
have a nosey at his menu. There was loads of stuff to
choose from, but all I really wanted was a plate of chips
with cheese and baked beans, with some bread and butter. (I
would normally only have cheese and beans with jacket
potato but hey). Everyone looked at me funny when I told
them what I wanted to eat, but wisely, no-one said
anything. Jane decided to have a tuna fish salad, Will
ordered a cheeseburger and Charles ordered a hamburger.

Whilst we were waiting for the food to arrive, the four of
us talked about what I was going to do now. I said that I
wasn't sure at the moment, that I was going to concentrate
on my relationship with Will, try to come to terms with how
my life is going to change, then we'd decide whether I was
going to go back to university. Will and Charles were deep
in discussion about Will's company and I hoped that Will
would suggest that Charles might like to consider coming
and working for him in Dublin. I might have to talk to
him, not that I'm sticking my oar in, however, I think that
Mamaí will start to interfere more than she does already,
and that it would start to cause real problems for Jane and
Charles, and no-one deserves that. It would also be very
cool if Jane was closer to me and Will. But I won't push
the fact, I'll be discreet… well I'll try to be discreet.

The food arrived and we all tucked in. My food was
absolutely divine, although I was getting some very strange
looks from Will. The smell of Jane's tuna fish was
starting to make me feel nauseous, which I found quite
bizarre considering that it is normally one of my favourite
foods. It must be this whole pregnancy thing. I ignored
the smell and started to make a chip sandwich, however, the
smell was becoming more objectionable with every second and
my nausea was getting worse. The colour must have drained
from my face because Will placed his hand on my arm. "Are
you feeling alright? Truly you look really, really pale."

"No, I'm feeling really ill. The smell of Jane's tuna fish
is making me really want to throw up. In fact I think I am
going to have to go the bathroom. I'll be right back."
Just as I was finishing the sentence the wave of nausea was
starting to hit me again, and I knew that I was going to be
sick and really didn't want the indignity of being sick in
public, so I left the café very quickly and ran to the
toilets and prayed that there wasn't a queue. As I bombed
into the ladies I was so relieved to see that there were
lots of free cubicles, and I managed to get myself into a
cubicle just in time to be violently sick, bringing up all
the food I had eaten today. As the last wave of nausea
passed, I flushed the toilet and leant my head against the
wall behind the toilet. (I hate being sick, it has to be
the worst feeling in the world.) Although I have felt
sick, this is the first time I have actually been sick.
(NOTE TO SELF: Avoid tuna fish at all costs.) I left the
cubicle and splashed my face with water. I hunted in my
bag and found some mints and shoved a couple in my mouth
and knew that I had to go and buy a travel toothbrush and
toothpaste before I went to the doctors.

As I walked out of the toilet, I found Will waiting for me,
pacing and looking as pale as I did. He saw me and as we
met, his arms opened and I walked into them and walked mine
round his waist. As I drank in his very being, I was aware
of him stroking my hair and telling me that I'd be okay. I
pulled out of his arms. "Thank you for that."
"Are you feeling better now? I was worried, I don't like
the idea of you being sick."
"Will." I started as I took hold of his hand and we
started to walk back to the café. "I'm not sick, I'm just
pregnant. Come on, Jane'll be worried." We made our way
back to the table, and caught Jane's attention. I could
see by the look on her face that she was worried about me.
As I got back to the table I promised her that I was
alright.

"Oh Libby, I feel so guilty, if I had known it would have
had that effect on you I would never have ordered it."
Jane looked so bad, as if she had done it on purpose.
"Jane, calm down. I didn't know that tuna would have that
effect on me, I'm just wondering if it is all fish. Oh and
another thing, they are totally lying when they call it
morning sickness, as it is now 1.20. That was the first
time that I have actually been sick. I've felt nauseous but
never been physically sick." I laughed. "I don't want
anything else to eat at the moment, so shall we head to
Korky's so I can get some shoes, Marks to look at some
dessert and I NEED to find a chemist to buy a travel
toothbrush and paste so I can carry it in my bag just in
case."

Charles paid the bill and we made our way back to the car
to deposit the shopping bags, and then we made our way to a
Boots where I bought the toothbrush and some Gaviscon for
the heartburn that I am starting to get. We went into
Korky's and I found the perfect pair of ballerina pumps in
black and beige. Jane noticed the beige ones "Libby, they
would look fantastic with your new cargo pants."

"Jane, stop, I only need them in black they will go fine
with the pants, I don't need two pairs of new shoes."
Will came over to me, and I could feel myself getting
angry. "Don't you start either. I do not need two pairs
of shoes at the moment. If I start to feel my feet getting
sore or swollen, I may consider buying another pair of
shoes, but I will do it when I am good and bl**dy ready."
Poor Will looked totally blown sideways and I realised that
I had lost it for no reason. "Look Will, would you please
give the money to Jane for the shoes and we'll meet them
outside? We need to talk." All Will could do was nod
meekly and handed Jane the necessary Euros, then he
followed me out of the shop. We found a bench outside and
we sat down.

I took hold of Will's hand and looked him in the eye.
"Will, I am so sorry I lost it in there. I am starting to
feel completely helpless. Ever since I went to stay with
Maddie in Dublin I am just not used to being dependant on
anyone, not even my parents, ever since I went to stay with
Maddie in Dublin. I totally appreciate what you and Jane
are trying to do, but I need people to give me space." I
could see that Will was struggling with what I was trying
to say.

"I see Libby, I understand. When you are ready to be with
me let me know, until then I will give you as much space as
you need." He almost spat the last line out as if it were
poison. OMG! He thinks that I want to end it with him.
"Will" taking his hands again "I don't mean that I don't
want you around, what I mean is that I am not used to being
lifted and laid after. I want to be with you all the
time., I don't ever want to think of a time when you are
not in my life. I'm sorry if you misunderstood me." I
took his face in my hands and I kissed him deeply and
pulled back. "So do we understand each other now?"

"Yes, Libby, yes we do. I'm sorry, it's just that this is
so new for both of us. I've been on my own for so long
before you, and I am struggling to adjust to this as much
as you."
"Well, we'll just have to make sure that we talk to each
other and struggle through this together. Deal."
"Deal." He kissed me and gave me a hug, and as he looked
over my shoulder he saw Charles and Jane standing behind
us. As we stood up, Will took hold of my hand and we
walked over to the waiting couple together. Jane had a
look of fear on her face. "Don't look so worried, I didn't
bite his head off, I merely chewed it slightly. God help
him. If I am acting this irrationally now, what am I going
to be like later on?." I smiled at Will who was now
looking much more relaxed and at ease.

"Shall we go to Marks and Spencer or shall we head back to
the car, via a shop so that this one here can get something
to eat, now she is feeling better." I looked at Will, "and
before you start, you need to eat and drink something, as
the doctor will require a sample and you haven't kept
anything down." I smiled at him and laughed.

"Yes okay. Jane can you get pudding at the supermarket
whilst you are getting the wine as I am actually feeling
very thirsty and slightly hungry?"
"No worries. Let's go". We all set off back towards the
car park talking about what culinary delights awaited us
when we returned. Charles laughed. "Let's just hope that
there is no fish on the menu."
"I doubt it somehow, more like chicken or spag bol. I
don't care as long as I haven't had to cook it."

We stopped at the local branch of Kennedy's bakers and I
bought a buttered iced finger and a bottle of Club orange,
and as I ate it I could almost feel the sugar and
loveliness rush through my veins. Will and Charles laughed
at me. "What are you two laughing at? Don't make me come
over there." I glared at them.

"Nothing darling. It was just the look of sheer joy on
your face as you ate that cake."
"Yeah, sugar is better than sex!" I looked at him cheekily.
"But when the time comes I totally give you permission to
prove me wrong" I whispered this into his ear and I could
just hear him go red. "Come on, let's head back to the
car. If we leave now, I'll have time to brush my teeth and
take your car to the doctors rather than relying on Charles
and Jane." As we walked, Will wrapped his arm round my
waist and pulled me close to him. In return, I put my
right hand in one of the pockets in the back of his jeans
(Oh dear what a shame. I get to cop a feel of his arse in
public.)

I felt Will look at me and I merely looked back at him
cheekily. "I can always move my hand if you don't like
it!"
"Don't you dare. If I could keep your hand there forever,
I would."
"Well I'll just have to make sure that I repeat this as
much as possible to relieve your suffering."

After this flirty pseudo-foreplay discussion in the middle
of Cork City, we walked back to the car park in silence,
just savouring the ability to walk down the street in this
way and have no one looking at us. Roll on moving to
Dublin, where there is no fear of any of my mother's family
bumping into us, and causing gossip. Although I don't care
what people think of me and Will, Cork is still a small
city, and gossip spreads and I really don't want to add
fuel to the fire that Mamaí and Aunt Assumpta will flame,
spreading rumours and lies about Will and therefore me.
At least when I move to Dublin with Will, where we will be
free to spend lazy Saturday afternoons walking through
Phoenix Park, and going to the zoo (although that might not
be the most sensible place when I am heavily pregnant, as
the wardens may think I am a hippo trying to escape.) The
ability to generally spend time with Will on our own,
getting used to being a couple and a family in the making
is definitely one of the main attractions that Dublin is
offering at the moment.

Will decided that he was going to drive back as he is not
the best passenger in the world. Jane and I agreed to sit
in the back together, so that we could have a gossip.
Whilst we were on the way back out to Crosshaven, I decided
to call Cliona to see what wine and what type of pudding
they wanted.

It was Ailish that came to the phone and she sounded quite
stressed. "Is everything okay there?"
"Yeah, fine. Can you please get some garlic bread when
you're out? Jane has no French bread."
"Yeah, I'll get Jane to get it. What wine do you want, and
what kind of pudding would go best?"
Ailish thought for a minute. "White would probably be best,
but it would be good to get a bottle of red as Dadaí loves
it. Some soft drinks would be good for those of us who
can't or don't want to drink wine."
"Uh-uh"
"Something light and creamy would be good. Nothing that
requires custard."
"Okay I'll let Jane know. We are heading back to the house
now, as I need to brush my teeth before the doctors and
then Will and I will take his car, whilst Jane and Charles
go to the store then collect Dadaí. Can I just confirm
that SHE is definitely not coming?"
I heard Ailish laugh. "God no. She is definitely in
Galway. Even if she wasn't, I doubt Mamaí would darken the
door, not because she's embarrassed but because she
believes she is right. Oh I better go and check on the
food and help Clí. See you later Libby. Bye"
"Bye, Ailish, thank you for everything."

"Well, what do they want?" Jane was waiting for me to
finish the call.
"Oh yeah. Ailish suggested some red and white, some soft
drinks and for dessert, something light and creamy, nothing
that requires custard. Doesn't help us to find out what
they are cooking. I just know that there will be no tuna
fish, unless all they're feeding us tuna sandwiches."

I heard Will's laugh from the front of the car. "Oh yeah,
I'd love to see your face if that was the case."
Charles joined in now "Yes, that lovely shade of green is
so fetching on you."
"Just you be so grateful I can't reach either of you, but
I'll get you later." I laughed but Will saw the look in my
eye and he wasn't sure whether it was true or not.
As we were travelling back towards Charles', we managed to
hit a traffic jam on the main road out of Cork, and we were
ground to a halt. As we were sitting in the queue of
traffic, I felt myself getting drowsy and I obviously fell
asleep, as the next thing I remember was Will waking me up
outside the doctors surgery.
"Libby darling, wake up. We're at the doctor's." I woke
up with a start.
"Don't worry. We have half an hour before the appointment.
We were stuck in traffic for over an hour, so we didn't
have time to go home and get my car. Jane and Charles are
going to go the supermarket while we see the doctor, then
we'll collect your Dadaí on the way back to the house."
Will was now sitting in the seat beside me, and I was
feeling very sleepy and bleary eyed. Jane and Charles were
in the chemist getting some stuff for Jane. "You look very
sweet when you are half asleep."
"Shut up. I'm thirsty, can I have my Club before I go and
brush my teeth." I smiled as Will found my orange drink. I
had a drink as Will went to the boot to get my toothbrush
and toothpaste. When I had finished my Club, I climbed out
of the car, as Jane and Charles were walking towards the
car.
"Ah, the dead arose and appeared to many." God, I had
forgotten what a sarky explain what arky is. I presume it's
short for sarcastic but I have never heard this term. mare
Jane Bingley could be.

"Ha ha, very funny. I obviously needed that. Will and I
are going into the surgery now, as I need to do my teeth
before I see the doctor, and no doubt they will require a
sample. When Will and I are finished, I'll give you a
ring, and you can come and get us. I know it's a pain but
there's no way round it. Once I have rung you, I'll ring
Da and let him know roughly when we'll be with him. Right
off we go." I gave Jane and Charles a hug and hand in hand
Will and I walked into the surgery.


To be continued...