Alas, you might have heard the gossip and animated quacking surrounding the ousting of our formerly famed pond boy, what's-his-name Reeves.  But, dear visitors, rest assured that our replacing him could not be helped.  It wasn't that he was lacking in his ministrations or unpopular at the local Bar and Grill, but, simply, that our lustful duckie eyes had been turned elsewhere.  Yes, Duckies, too, have hormones.

Therefore, we are honored, dear visitor, to introduce to you our dearest pond boy - the luscious Firthy.  As you can see, he's made himself quite at home at our beloved pond, and we couldn't be more tickled to swim in the martinis that he skims so capably.

You may be asking yourself - what was their impetus for such a change? for the particular choice?  Dear visitors, we'd be happy to enlighten you.

In truth, the answer is simple - pure, carnal duckie lust.  We found his brood to be irresistible, his scowl to be sexy beyond compare. We were determined to bring him into our flock.

With such a lofty goal in mind, beduini and melly duckies set out on a  most dangerous and hopeful mission - the procurement of his Firthyness.  It was a long journey, with much time spent flapping their wings and beaks as they flew over the great ocean - first class, of course.  

When, at last, they came upon their target, they were overcome with joy and anticipation.  So much so, that they were rendered speechless for a full two seconds.  But as they waddled toward him, silver flask in wing, feathers preened to perfection, he had no defense and was at once willing to enjoy their company and magnificent martinis. The further events of that fateful evening were not relayed to the rest of our flock, but upon later inquiry, Mr. Firth could only blush, smile, and scowl, quite wantonly in our estimation, in the direction of our sister duckies.

We hear that he came quite willingly - that the swagger of their duckie feathers and the lure of their tasty martinis convinced him to follow them not only to our pond, but to the ends of the earth (should they wish.)  This would seem to be a truthful account of their journey and subsequent success, evidenced by the ample amount of time he has spent in and around their duckie nests.  

We hope, with all our duckie hearts, that he should continue to enjoy all that our pond and our flock offers.  We anticipate many enjoyable evenings spent in his company - lounging in the reeds, sipping martinis at the Duckie Bar and Grill, admiring his form as he partakes in a lap or two around the pond. 

rub it in, why don't you!  take me back to the faq, I'm sick of this.